Our Engagements: Baloch

Ever wondered about different cultures and their ways of getting two individuals to a life long relationship, I mean, marriage? I would describe the first part of it today over here.

It may seem to many of you readers that we are from dark ages but we are even these modern days, following mostly our culture and norms in this specific part of life among many others. Let’s begin the story then.

It all begins with a boy, who starts earning and becomes stable enough to support himself and a life partner he may get. The parents will start looking for a suitable girl that should have the following attributes:

  • Beautiful (Most Important)
  • Younger than the boy
  • Good Family
  • Good in house work
  • Educated (not very important)

The mother and sisters start the search. If they found someone with such attributes in their family, like nieces either from father or mother’s side, they are very lucky. Otherwise they keep looking the girls they see in marriages of other people or gatherings from time to time. They then inquire about it from other. Once they found what they were searching for, they start to talk with the parents or anyone elder in the family of the girl. They family of the girl asks for few days to confirm about the possibility of the relationship. After those few days, if not confirmed, the boy’s family will ask again about the status of their request.

If the family denied with a proper reason, the cycle is started over with another family. But if they accepted, then begins the next phase. The financial phase.

In the financial phase, the family of the girl is asked about how much would they demand for letting their boy marry their girl. It is like they are trading but actually the money is spent on the marriage and jewelry of the girl. There maybe bargaining sometime. Once the amount is agreed, which is combination of cash and gold, then they specify how much will be paid upfront and how much can be paid in installments (or later).

Now the boy and girl are engaged. But during all of this, they may have never actually seen one another. Not just in person, maybe their photos also. In some cases only the photos are shared after engagement. So the fate is depending purely on the choice of the mother and sisters.

PS: There are no rings for the boy too after the engagement.

Then comes the marriage. That’s next story.

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